First of all I would like to say that you don’t have to read this post if you don’t want to, I am going to talk about something very personal, my mental health.
As I said the problem I am struggling with right now is my mental health. On April 6th I was diagnosed with a depression. For weeks I haven’t felt happy at all. I was really unhappy, I felt like crying every day, all I wanted to do was sleep or stay in bed or on the couch and do nothing. I felt like I was falling deeper and deeper into a black hole, and I had nothing that would help me get out of it.
I am sort of used to that kind of feeling, ever semester at school there comes a time that I panic and sort fall into that black hole, but I have always come out of so far. But that wasn’t the case this time, I kept on falling. And I have had times where I felt unhappy, but I have never felt this miserable with unhappiness, despair and sadness.
So I went to my general practitioner and told him about my feelings. That day I started with medication for my depression and I had made an appointment with the psychologist. The first week was horrible, I was suffering from the side-effects: headache, nausea, tired, insomnia, constantly yawning, and no hunger and futile. After that week it became better, right now the only things I am struggling with are being extremely tired, futile and no hunger.
I have decided to quit my internship, because I would have to fight to make it and I didn’t have the strength to do it anymore. But I am completing the time I am there, so I will stay there till June 30th, working on personal goals. The team is very supporting there, so that really helps me.
This also explains why I am inactive on my blog or any social media for that matter, and the reason I am not uploading that much. I am trying to set daily goals for myself, but that doesn’t always work out.
One good thing did come out of this. I have discovered bullet journaling and I am obsessed with it. I am planning on making a post about it in May and I am planning on posting pictures of it as well on my Instagram account.
Also, I am planning on writing a short story about the first time I took my medication, I had so many emotions at that time and I think it will be good to write those done.
So thank you so much for listening to me, it means the world to me!